Thursday, September 23, 2010

Grotesque Dog Kennel Stories

WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE TO LOOK AT LOTS OF LITTLE THINGS IN ONE PLACE, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ ANY FURTHER. I have put a non-offensive opening picture, just in case you want to turn back.

[My cute yet un-photogenic pup, Fraser made it on the wall paper at work. Not fair that he's next to that slutty Lassie model-dog though.]

Before I get to the real meat of this post, let me add this:

Before we got Fraser, all we had was a print-out of a picture my aunt and uncle emailed us of him. My sister and I weren't very excited, because we thought he look ugly. 
Luckily, our shallow hearts were stilled when we learned how cute he is in person (or should I say in canine?).


During the last few weeks of work, box elders invaded. 
And I really mean invaded. They were everywhere, crawling, creeping; their very existence was both disgusting and offensive. Especially when you see a big bundle of eggs, bright red baby bugs, and adults swarming on each other in a big clump of horrible.

Little did we know it was just beginning. 
Lauren and I took some down time to research them on Wikipedia. 
We learned they are attracted to the box elder tree. They feed on it. 

[Of course, we have one right by the office. What did you expect?]

[Are you as repulsed as I am by these pictures?]

After relaying to us that the bugs burrow behind siding over the winter, Wikipedia finally offered a small ray of hope:

"These insects can be killed with a dilute mixture of soap and water."

Ah, what a glorious utterance!

Lauren and I took out the garden hose and some dish detergent and went crazy--warrior style-- on the red beasts.
Now, you can't tell in pictures how dead they are, but just imagine the mass of red going from a chaotic movement to a moist stillness.

[again: gross.]

We killed millions that day (or at least hundreds) but our victorious battle did not end the war.

A week or so later, after we had been suspiciously out of dish soap for days, Lauren used her lunch break to buy four brand new bottles (two green apple and two orange, if you were wondering). 

It was a wonderful killing once again. Our soap soldiers got three times the kills, and we even had leftover dishsoap to donate to the ol' dog kennel. 

[Of course... they are still out there... biding their time.]

I must say that killing infestations of bugs is a very satisfying way to spend one's afternoon.

Anyway, here is a tranquil picture to calm your nerves after this horror story.

It was taken in Cannon Falls this summer with Brian:


  1. BLECH! EEEEEUUUUUU!!!! GRRRRROSSSSSSS!!!! Those are really gross pictures. I think it would have given me nightmares if I saw all of that grossness in person! Did you actually have to scrub over them all or could you just hose them them to death without actually touching them?

    I'm so happy that you ended this post with a nice serene picture of a happy goose family and my boy. :-) That DID calm my nerves!

  2. hehe...your pictures were SO upsetting I used the word 'them' four times when talking about those gross crawly things!

  3. man, you even WARNED me about my phobia, and I still looked anyway! TOO MANY SMALL CREEPERS CREEPIN' IN ONE PLaCE!

  4. oh my gosh that was amazing!! :) oh how i miss those days, i did it again the other day and it was sad because you weren't there to help me! but i killed them little bastards!

  5. Well that was pretty gross Christie! I think one time you mentioned that there were lots of box elder bugs but I didn't really understand what you meant by LOTS!

    You girls are so smart to research how to get rid of them :)

    I also was happy that you ended the blog with 2 nice photos that made me smile!

  6. I hate this more than anything. I was traumatized as a child. We had that problem all up and down our farm for YEARS!!!! And really, the soap and water thing doesn't work all that well, I've tried it. Thanks to you and this lovely post dear Christie, I think I have found the root of my fear. I do not appreciate re-living those moments, but I do appreciate the disclaimer at the beginning. I will try to actually listen to the disclaimer next time.

  7. Hahaha, glad I put that disclaimer so no one got all mad.

    Shelby, I love the phrase "too many small creepers creepin' up in one place"

    Tess, OF COURSE we sprayed them from a distance! Gross--who do you think we are?!?! Hahah.