100

This is my one hundredth post! Now, drop the urge to start lecturing me on how this-would-have-happened-a-long-time-ago-if-you'd-just-apply-yourself-and-spend-more-time-on-the-internet-and-less-studying, and just enjoy it!

My initial idea was to do ten top tens of images from my blog's past, but that seemed too... predictable. Instead I will do eight top somethings. Well, maybe I will split that into two posts so you don't get bored.

Without further ado...

The Top 7 Best Winks

7. Winks are just plain nerdy when you are reading.

 That book was about art history too, I think that makes it even worse.

6. Accidental wink

So kill me, it was really sunny out!

5. The stray bang wink

May I deem the stray chunk from my bangs a "bang"? I do this a lot. And for all my (someday?) international readers, I'm talking about "fringe."

4. The wink that arises when you can't smile (REENACTMENT)

Damn, that's sexy.

3. Winking with GUNS

And horns for that matter. This is a pretty quality wink. As you can see, folks, the man has committed his entire body to the wink, even if he is a tad crazy about Christmas.

2. Winking with headgear

Wow, Brian, another classic move. When my photography teacher saw this one, he said it was one of his favorites because you looked so "coy." 

Drumroll... (yes, of course there is going to be a drumroll before every one! And I want to see you slapping your knees before you read them.)
1. My specialty: unflattering winks

Read 'em and weep! No wink can top this one in jankiness!

What's next? I suppose, since this is an omellette related blog and all, we should go with:

The Top 4 Eggs

 4. Classic egg(s)

 Aww, this is from one of my first posts, that's why it's so itty-bitty. And what a gorgeous picture of those white domes, courtesy the artist.

3. Decorative egg

In Middle School we had "Exploratory Day" and I signed up for a class on how to make these decorative eggs. It is a complex process involving crayons and knowing which color is darkest. Needless to say, I did not make this particular egg.

2. Not sure why my family owns this egg nicknack.

Don't you wish nicknack was spelled knicknack?

Drumroll...
1. The most eggciting egg. (What did you eggspect in an egg countdown?)

Delicious.

Okay, so maybe I was a little desperate when choosing these countdowns. I was trying to be creative or something! You know, out of the box...
But that leads to my next countdown of course. 'Twas a planned insecure rambling.

The Top 9 Faces of Desperation 

 9. Apparent unibrow desperation

Otherwise known as very little chin desperation.

8. Costume desperation

In the next few minutes you will find that this particular type of desperation is widespread among animals, human-animals, and human-foods alike. Costumes just aren't as fun as one would think.

7. Costume desperation is real, everyone!

It was very cold, I had nothing else to wear.

6. Indecisive desperation

  After all, what's a wee girl like myself standing in front of an eagle picture supposed to do?

5. I'm too old for this desperation

Not even dalmatians could cheer me up at this party.

4. An extraordinary case of costume desperation

3. Clenched neck desperation

2. Zoomed in desperation

The bulging eye is what brings this face up to number two. It's not your typical bulging eye but a prime example where the eye we see to our right bulges just a bit more than the left. Actors: study this.

Drumroll...
1. You're taking another picture? desperation and outdated glasses desperation

This one is an instant classic. I think the jumper makes it all the more successful. Winner! Mom, I would totally link to your blog right now if you had one.

I know you are all anxious for one more countdown. Put on your reading glasses for this next one. There will be some fine print, if you know what I mean.

The Top 10 Glasses

First eggs and now glasses?! I know, right? That's just how it is around here, the party never ever stops.

10. Harry Potter, beloved

Hoodwinked again! I know you all thought I would put Harry at number one, but as the first movie is not very good, you were WRONG.

Suckers.

9. Anthropology professor glasses

Not bad, Harley, not bad.

8. Reflective glasses worn by sweaty people

This blurry, shiny, unflattering thing was taken on a rickshaw in India. How can it not be number 8?

7. Smart glasses

Without these extra large peepers, I'd be nothing next to the wise owl. Instead, I stare him down like it's nothing! And for 19.95, these brilliant-makers can be yours too.

6. Justine glasses

Justine eating quesadilas beats most glasses pictures.

5. Creative glasses

Doesn't the phrase "turn that frown upside down" mean anything these days? Artists: study this, you are expected to dress up for gallery openings.

4. Puns

It's just juice, stop freaking out.

3. Anime glasses

... in the cornfield!

2. Really hip glasses

I will also accept "cool" and "rad."


1. Cutest glasses-wearer ever (sorry, Brian)

There's more where this came from! So I hope you liked it! Comment? Follow? Plus one? (Whatever that is.)

Whistle While You Work

Hello again!
How exciting to be writing this to some brand new, still in the shrink-wrap followers!

So, I bet you are just racking your brains and scratching your noggins over the origin of this title. "I Fold Omelettes," I mean (In typing this sentence I just discovered that omelette can be spelled "omelet" as well. Personally, I think the former is prettier and more French just like the original word "amelette." But I just thought I'd divulge that little tidbit for ya). Well, wonder no more, blog-fans!

...This is why: I work at an egg factory. Really, it's only for the summer, which is about two more weeks, and I don't just make omelettes/omelets but other boring things as well, from french toast to egg bits and patties (!). Come to think of it, probably less than .000001% of my life has been spent folding omelettes. But I was working when the brilliant light-bulb that is this title came to me, and I also just thought it was kind of funny. So there!

[my muse]

Factory work is one of the most boring things I've ever done with my life, ever. I mean I've had my fair share of waiting in line, completing meaningless homework assignments, and staring into space for lack of anything better to do, but this is EIGHT HOURS a day*!! Blech. Imagine performing a very easy task in a dreay warehouse-like room while wearing ear-plugs, a hairnet and construction cap, and knee-high rubber boots. Welcome to Cargill!!
I try not to complain, because I make good money for a part time job, but it can be a struggle.

So I don't want to talk about the work! I have something more fun: the people I meet!

There's Shamwatee--people call her Sham, a middle-aged woman from India who has two sons working there too. One of them is getting married soon and she told me about the special cake she is making herself and buying a dress and all the family members who will be staying over for days. The cake is black with dried fruit, and she might even bring me some to try! Also, if we have break together she always brings tons of those after-dinner mints one sees at restaurants and shares them-- "for fresh breath."

There's a guy named Charlie Brown. I really hope he wasn't kidding, he being one of those people who jokes around a lot, because that name is just too awesome for words. He loves WOW (World of Warcraft, all you parents, an intense computer game that video-gamers love) and is going to school for something computer related. The first time we worked together a whole day, he asked me what Disney songs I know and we sang them together. He knows all the words to "Part of Their World" (from the Little Mermaid) and WAY more Disney songs than I do! Finally we found that we both knew was Aladdin's "A Whole New World" and a few from Pocahontas. He didn't know any from The Lion King, my specialty. Rather unfortunate. He always visits me at break and today he was eating plain sausage patties in a tortilla. Gross.

There's Frank, a man from Honduras who is really proud of his three kids and likes to give me updates on them all the time. He also is always willing to share his food. I had some spicy fish with french fries and rice the other day. But once he told me about a fight with his wife and that was kind of weird.

I'll have to tell you about more people later because this post is getting long!

Today I learned to quickly count out 20 egg patties from a vibrating shelf, hoooo-RAH.

And, to make this somewhat worthwhile for you, I found a few random egg facts (party!):

• Chickens came from Asia. They were domesticated in India as early as 3200 B.C. ... 5,209 years ago.
• The risk of Salmonella is only 1 in 20,000 eggs. The website says you should still not eat them raw EVER, but I'd say that makes it even more worth it to try delicious cake batter and cookie dough!
• Everything else about eggs is boring.

Thank you so much for reading! I really hope this is as much fun for you as it is for me. Seriously.

-christie

*on average. Range 6-10 hours. One day it was 12. That was horrid.