100

This is my one hundredth post! Now, drop the urge to start lecturing me on how this-would-have-happened-a-long-time-ago-if-you'd-just-apply-yourself-and-spend-more-time-on-the-internet-and-less-studying, and just enjoy it!

My initial idea was to do ten top tens of images from my blog's past, but that seemed too... predictable. Instead I will do eight top somethings. Well, maybe I will split that into two posts so you don't get bored.

Without further ado...

The Top 7 Best Winks

7. Winks are just plain nerdy when you are reading.

 That book was about art history too, I think that makes it even worse.

6. Accidental wink

So kill me, it was really sunny out!

5. The stray bang wink

May I deem the stray chunk from my bangs a "bang"? I do this a lot. And for all my (someday?) international readers, I'm talking about "fringe."

4. The wink that arises when you can't smile (REENACTMENT)

Damn, that's sexy.

3. Winking with GUNS

And horns for that matter. This is a pretty quality wink. As you can see, folks, the man has committed his entire body to the wink, even if he is a tad crazy about Christmas.

2. Winking with headgear

Wow, Brian, another classic move. When my photography teacher saw this one, he said it was one of his favorites because you looked so "coy." 

Drumroll... (yes, of course there is going to be a drumroll before every one! And I want to see you slapping your knees before you read them.)
1. My specialty: unflattering winks

Read 'em and weep! No wink can top this one in jankiness!

What's next? I suppose, since this is an omellette related blog and all, we should go with:

The Top 4 Eggs

 4. Classic egg(s)

 Aww, this is from one of my first posts, that's why it's so itty-bitty. And what a gorgeous picture of those white domes, courtesy the artist.

3. Decorative egg

In Middle School we had "Exploratory Day" and I signed up for a class on how to make these decorative eggs. It is a complex process involving crayons and knowing which color is darkest. Needless to say, I did not make this particular egg.

2. Not sure why my family owns this egg nicknack.

Don't you wish nicknack was spelled knicknack?

Drumroll...
1. The most eggciting egg. (What did you eggspect in an egg countdown?)

Delicious.

Okay, so maybe I was a little desperate when choosing these countdowns. I was trying to be creative or something! You know, out of the box...
But that leads to my next countdown of course. 'Twas a planned insecure rambling.

The Top 9 Faces of Desperation 

 9. Apparent unibrow desperation

Otherwise known as very little chin desperation.

8. Costume desperation

In the next few minutes you will find that this particular type of desperation is widespread among animals, human-animals, and human-foods alike. Costumes just aren't as fun as one would think.

7. Costume desperation is real, everyone!

It was very cold, I had nothing else to wear.

6. Indecisive desperation

  After all, what's a wee girl like myself standing in front of an eagle picture supposed to do?

5. I'm too old for this desperation

Not even dalmatians could cheer me up at this party.

4. An extraordinary case of costume desperation

3. Clenched neck desperation

2. Zoomed in desperation

The bulging eye is what brings this face up to number two. It's not your typical bulging eye but a prime example where the eye we see to our right bulges just a bit more than the left. Actors: study this.

Drumroll...
1. You're taking another picture? desperation and outdated glasses desperation

This one is an instant classic. I think the jumper makes it all the more successful. Winner! Mom, I would totally link to your blog right now if you had one.

I know you are all anxious for one more countdown. Put on your reading glasses for this next one. There will be some fine print, if you know what I mean.

The Top 10 Glasses

First eggs and now glasses?! I know, right? That's just how it is around here, the party never ever stops.

10. Harry Potter, beloved

Hoodwinked again! I know you all thought I would put Harry at number one, but as the first movie is not very good, you were WRONG.

Suckers.

9. Anthropology professor glasses

Not bad, Harley, not bad.

8. Reflective glasses worn by sweaty people

This blurry, shiny, unflattering thing was taken on a rickshaw in India. How can it not be number 8?

7. Smart glasses

Without these extra large peepers, I'd be nothing next to the wise owl. Instead, I stare him down like it's nothing! And for 19.95, these brilliant-makers can be yours too.

6. Justine glasses

Justine eating quesadilas beats most glasses pictures.

5. Creative glasses

Doesn't the phrase "turn that frown upside down" mean anything these days? Artists: study this, you are expected to dress up for gallery openings.

4. Puns

It's just juice, stop freaking out.

3. Anime glasses

... in the cornfield!

2. Really hip glasses

I will also accept "cool" and "rad."


1. Cutest glasses-wearer ever (sorry, Brian)

There's more where this came from! So I hope you liked it! Comment? Follow? Plus one? (Whatever that is.)

Top Ten Things I Did in the Last Ten Days

Hello all! School is busy and my social life is just bursting at the seams. ;)
So this will be brief, then I can get back to those papers I need to write. This is the topic I have been bringing up to everyone and their grandma for sympathy because it sounds so extreme. I have five major papers to write by next week. There, I said it! Some of you have already stuffed your ears with it before.

So what have I done if not blogged?
(No particular order.)

1. High School "Reunion" at Space Aliens
I went back home for a night to visit some friends (you know who you are... that is, if you even read this... moment of awkward insecurity) and we ate at Space Aliens, the small barbecue/pizza chain that is decorated to match its name... times ten (numerical theme). My waitress was a girl from high school. We were not friends in high school so no one broke the ice and said "hi." Thus she served me the entire time while being smushed with elephant-in-the-room-esque awkwardness.

 [speaking of aliens, Stephen Hawking is kind of boring when he narrates a show about them.]

2. Task Party aka organized chaos
Oliver Herring, a famous German artist, came to our school! He used to knit strange things constantly, but now he makes videos, photo sculptures, and Task Parties!

[here's a photo sculpture, this one wasn't at our school, but look--it's a bunch of small close-up photos glued together!]

The Task Party was the most fun though. Picture this: a large room strewn about with random art supplies and surplus items--from glitter to cardboard to metal tins and feathers to balloons, etc.--with a bunch of nerdy art-lovers and the command to simply make and do "tasks," no other guidelines. So first you draw a task from the big box, do it, and then write your own.

Examples:

• dress up like a pirate
• build a human pyramid
• call your dad and say "hi"
• construct a nest
• protest something
• walk around the room with a hotdog in your mouth
• throw glitter at a stranger
• etc.

What does it look like, you ask?
Well, everyone ends up in stupid costumes and such, so it ends up looking something like this:

[dramatic re-enactment]

3. CONTROVERSY Party
It was for the Sociology/Anthropology/Reconciliation Department, okay? Least controversial event ever, in the history of the world probably. Though I will admit it was more fun than I expected. Besides, my team won Political Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

4. Decided China is awesome
Justine's aunt Cliss has been to so many countries--India, China, and Japan. She spoke about them at some women's retreat and we went to see her. She spent the most time in China--3 years-- and after hearing all of the stories, now I reallllllly want to go!

5. Painted world turtle
Almost completed a painting that is about a Native American creation story where the land is just the back of a giant turtle. I made the turtle a tortoise because they are the cutest of all turtles and resemble grumpy old men. (Awww!)
Stupidly, I have no picture of it now.

Some day. Someday. Sumday.


6. Used an antique printing press
So--correct me if you already know this--Minnesota has an AWESOME handmade book center and it is about 8 minutes away from campus. How cool. We went there for class and got to find little lead letters in a big font drawer. Then we put them backwards and upside down on a little holder thing. Holder thing had a part called a "knee," while letters have "feet." Said holder thing was then inked and put onto the press, where a huge roller smushed ("pressed") it and printed out titles! So cool. It was also in a rugged, cave-like basement that was historically built as a flour barrel factory (cough cough, notice all the flour mills on our skyline).


7. RAISED A YOUNG TURTLE
Yesyesyesyesyesyes.

[wook at the widdle biddle!]

[baby waby tuwtle]

[oooh, painted]

[shmo smainted!]

Found the little guy in the parking lot after a rainstorm. Saved him by bringing him to a muddy cattailed area by the lake. I figured keeping him would not  really be saving him since Justine and I got bored of our last pet (Jibs the hermit crab) and gave him away to preschoolers.

Still, it was fun while it lasted. Brian came too*even though we were almost late for lunch. We ran up when the gate to the dining center was closing and I had to use my smooth diversion skills** to get us in. Barely!

*his hands are in the latter three pictures

**aka begging and telling the overly-nice guy that we just found a turtle

8. Enlightened others about Tootsie Pop Flavors

 [seriously though, how many licks?]

In my opinion, artificial banana is one of the lamest candy flavors known to both man and beast. Tootsie Pop Co. does not agree. I gave the one I got for "Thank-you-student-workers Week" to Brian, who also had never known of its rare existence.

9. Crawled and viewed art
 The good ol' St. Paul Art Crawl was this weekend. Brian and I walked through a bunch of galleries and apartments to see everything from chalk-drawn tigers and wooden magic wands to really fancy photography and huge paintings.

10. Tripped while sitting!! --less dramatic version
So this may or may not have happened to me before. Okay, it was in calculus class (AP thankyouverymuch) where I somehow fell off my chair by tripping. It is a mysterious phenomenon that not everyone has experienced.
I did it again today--and screamed--but I caught my balance before falling anywhere.
This photo may sort of kind of like a little bit, explain what sit-tripping is like.

[100% pure terror]

See you again soon I hope! If not, I will simply be here, complaining about my papers to those who do not read my blog.

p.s. FAILED tripping re-enactments. (aka "yes, it took 5 takes to get that terrible shot")

 [pooping?]

[HEAD]

[oddly sexual :/ ]

[dinosaur]

Why I am in Love with Charlie Brown

In this post, I will not be proving that I am in love with a fictional character. Rather, I will attempt to prove that the man I love is SIMILAR to a fictional character.

Completely different.

So, this is Charlie:

 [blond boy stands in pumpkin patch]

And this is Brian:

 [Exhibit A, fools!]

 Now, if that picture didn't prove it to you right off the bat, do not worry! There are a CORNUCOPIA of better reasons!  (cough, cough, Even Steven's reference, cough)

1. They both like to fly kites.

  [clearly Charlie is enjoying this]

As for Brian, he created an entire BLOG with the premise of flying his kite in numerous places around Europe. What does that mean?

I win!

[Brian + kite = less than three]

2. They both get their kites stuck in trees. :*(

Care to defend yourself on this one, Charlie?

  [I think not!]

Brian once got his kite stuck  in a tree. It was so far away, the string went through the tree, through another tree, across a power line, across the street, and over a fence to the soccer field we were standing in. 

The power company had to come in special to get it down.
(Reads like a comic if you ask me.)

This is actually the main reason Charlie and Brian are alike.

Because they have both done it multiple times.

 [oh, shit.]

This Tuesday, Brian took his new kite, Mr. Wingsy, out  for a spring-time fly. Wingsy was super excited, bouncin' around in the wind. 

Unfortunately, the poor guy flew too far. Brian tried to reel him in, but he whipped around--like a whip or whipped cream or a whippy-dip hairstyle--and dive bombed into a tree!!

This was not just any tree. It must have been the tallest tree in all of Bethel. 'Twas a wretched, thin pine tree that was pretty much popping clouds and knocking down airplanes. It was that tall.

That was three days ago, and sadly,

Wingsy the kite is still up there.

3. They both have a close friend who is all philosophical and stuff.

Boy! I bet no one else in the world has a friend like that ! Brian is totally CB.

See?

[right: Linus, probably about to quote Plato or something]

 [above:Billy Sveen, philosophy minor and Brian's future roommate, at the onset of dusk.]

4. They both freaking love Christmas.

Charlie even visits us in a Christmas special each year, come on!

[Charlie and friends, friggin' adoring Christmas]

Brian has a Christmas CD!!

[but has he ever worn Santa antlers to prove his Xmas love? GUILTY!]

5. Both have weird dogs that, for some strange reason, enjoy dressing up.

 [case in point! no sane being dresses up for Thanksgiving!]

[THREE pairs of antlers! Even Brian only wore one!]

6. Not only do they have weird dressing-up dogs, they both LOVE their dogs. Aww!

 [just hanging out in the yard, ^_^ oh boy]

Once again, Charlie, you are not alone.

[just hanging out (in a tent) in the yard. Cute, right?]

Maggie, Snoopy, their names practically rhyme. 

7. They both won Bethel Idol. 

 First of all, Brian won Bethel Idol this year.

Second of all...

[Hmm... fancy hat, the adoration of his peers, music notes... yep, Charlie Brown won Bethel Idol. Must have been last year.]

8. Both are "macho" but they don't know it.

[does this even need a caption?]

[once again, no caption is worthy]

10. Who says I need ten reasons? I think nine is a nice number! (Suck it, metric system.)

The end!

P.S. Some may think Brian is more like Schroeder just because his last name is Schroeder and he has a similar hairstyle and plays piano.
Hopefully said people will come realize the error of their ways. 

;)