Monday, September 7, 2009

Pass the Relish

[one of my all-time favorite photos of myself]

Did this get your attention, loyal readers? Did it? Well, that is precisely what I was going for. I had nothing cool, rad, or funky to blog about from this week (beginning of school, blah blah blah) so I decided to tell a random story from the past! The finale ends with me sporting a hotdog suit in public! Oh joy :).

Have you ever shopped on BLACK FRIDAY? I did once.
It was not for hardcore, push pregnant ladies and babies out of the way and trample elders to the floor to get the deals, Black Friday shopping, but mostly just to browse and visit some friends pulling all nighters.
It was my sister (Marina), our friend Alyssa, and me.

[this is them, respectively.]

Little did we know it would take at least an hour to make the usually 15 minute drive to the mall. Or that because of the crowds and bad traffic we would have to park in an overflow lot and walk through the pre-winter cold to the stores.

Once we had finally unearthed a parking space, Marina and Alyssa started to complain about the cold and their lack of jackets. We looked in the trunk to see if my brother had left a sweatshirt or something.

Jumper cables, a window scraper, and his Halloween costume--a hotdog suit.

That was when it hit us like a semi-truck trying to avoid a car making an illegal U-turn on the freeway.

Somebody is going to have to wear that hotdog suit.

As you can see, someone did.

[hungry yet?]

It was crowded. People were shopping and dropping and shouting and staring. Nearly every store had an endless line. But I must say it is a lot of fun to play the role of attention hungry teenagers in a crowded place. You just keep giggling because you have your own inside joke that everyone else has to look at but is only truly funny to you and your friends. Great times indeed. \
[would you like some mustard on those sales?]

[despite my apparent chagrin, I was lovin' it]

I would recommend to all of you to go out dressed up like some sort of unhealthy food or awkward phallic shape in public.

And I leave you, once again, with this. (Mostly because I accidentally uploaded it twice, but also because I want you to ponder it, let it ruminate and stew, and make sure you hear all of the 1,000 words it is trying to say to you.)


yours truly,/sincerely,/signed,


p.s. I learned that sausage (a.k.a. pre-industrial age hot dog) may have been mentioned briefly in Homer's Odyssey. However, if we are to believe legend instead, then the sausage/pre-historic hot dog was not invented until about 64 A.D. So Jesus never tasted sausage.


  1. Hey, I THINK I fixed the gross nasty yucky cactus picture from "In Memory of Clem."
    Let me know.

  2. i love this story. and that hotdog picture is one of my favorite pictures of you, too. :)

  3. Funny Christie! After a long day at school you got me giggling at the computer-thanks.

    I had to laugh at the first picture of Alyssa, she looks so apprehensive hehe.

    I love your analogies-a semi-truck making an illegal turn on the freeway hahahaha!

  4. I'll check out the cactus picture right now

  5. Hilarious story and GREAT pictures! One question though...if Marina and Alyssa were the ones complaining about the cold, how did YOU end up being the one to wear the hotdog suit? :-) Was it truly a 'hot'dog suit or were you still cold? So many questions!!!!! I've never known anyone that wore a hotdog suit in the MOA! Did you get to go to the front of the lines because of it? Did you get a hotdog discount? (You should have!) Did people walk up to you expecting you to give them a hotdog?

    Not only was this blog entertaining...but SO educational! I've always wondered if Jesus tasted a sausage! NOW I know!


  6. I wore the hotdog suit (even though I already had a coat) because they were SCARED!!

    I was not cold. They were freezing.
    But I don't thing the suit contributed.

    Oh, and it wasn't MOA, but Albertville Outlet Mall. Unfortunately the workers were too frazzled to give us the discounts we deserved!

    Glad you guys thought this was funny!